I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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