READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize