College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
