Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
