I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
