is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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