But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
