I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
