Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
