Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
