if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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