the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
