I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she told me i tasted like america
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
