Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
