I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
