So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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