eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
