I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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