I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
