She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
