Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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