I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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