We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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