haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
