I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
