You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
