Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize