i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
