You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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