What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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