I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
