just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think a kid would responsible me up
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
