But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
