nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
