Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You pole danced in your parka.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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