I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
