After last night, I could never be a politician.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
