just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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