I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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