I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
