oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
