Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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