yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
