And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Randomize
