as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
