You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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