You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
