And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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