Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
