Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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