I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
