I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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