She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
