He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize