If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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