too bad you live with your parents still
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
