My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
