god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
