sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Shame is for Republicans.
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