You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
