ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
